The Onion Daily Dispatch - March 21, 2012

Wed Mar 21, 2012 www.theonion.com

U.S. Citizen Resigns After Making Controversial Remark About Country 03.21.12 MATTOON, IL—Ending the firestorm of controversy that erupted after he made a highly critical comment about the United States, 43-year-old hardware store employee Keith Nellson bowed to public pressure Wednesday and announced he would be stepping dow... News in Brief » Your Dog Died American Voices » Wendy's Surpasses Burger King "Burger King needs to up their game. Have they thought of offering French fries?" opinion » Sometimes I Feel Like I’m The Only One Who Gives A Shit About Rich, Lustrous Hair by Marcus Russo , President and CEO, Pantene By Marcus Russo, President and CEO, Pantene Radio News » Long-Lost Jules Verne Short Story ‘The Camera Phone’ Found

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You will finally be reunited with your family when a sudden mudslide exposes their long-buried station wagon. Most Popular » U.S. Citizen Resigns After Making Controversial Remark About Country Wendy's Surpasses Burger King Atheists Unbless Florida Road Panicked Redskins Send Another Couple First-Round Picks To St. Louis Just To Make Sure Residents Of Indiana Join Together To Form Collective Consciousness Still Some Nutella Left In Jar, Reports Depression

If you do not want to receive anymore emails from us, please click the following link unsubscribe. To unsubscribe via postal mail please send your request to: 536 Broadway New York NY, 10012 Please include the email address at which you have been contacted. All of our emails are sent from the domain http://www.theonion.com.