The Onion Daily Dispatch - March 05, 2012

Mon Mar 05, 2012 www.theonion.com

Voters Slowly Realizing Santorum Believes Every Deranged Word That Comes Out Of His Mouth 03.05.12 WASHINGTON—As Rick Santorum has emerged to become Mitt Romney's leading opponent for the Republican presidential nomination, the American electorate said Monday it had slowly begun to realize that the former Pennsylvania senator sincerely believes e... News in Brief » GLAAD To Honor Any Mainstream Film That Gets One Thing Right About Being Gay American Voices » Monkees’ Davy Jones Dies "Aw, I just got a crush on him yesterday." opinion » I’m Getting Bitten By The Oscar Bug…AGAIN! by Jackie Harvey For some people, March Madness begins in March, and it’s tied to college basketball, but not me! Radio News » FDA Okays Every Drug Pending Approval, Takes Rest Of Year Off

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, Please remove the stars covering the nipples of the models on the last few pages. — Kurt Blankenship, Flint, MI Most Popular » Voters Slowly Realizing Santorum Believes Every Deranged Word That Comes Out Of His Mouth Female Friends Spend Raucous Night Validating The Living Shit Out Of Each Other FDA Okays Every Drug Pending Approval, Takes Rest Of Year Off Heartbroken Santorum Condemns Gay Marriage For Two-Timing Jerks Like Nick World's Youngest Person Born Daddy Put In Bye-Bye Box

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