The Onion Daily Dispatch - February 09, 2012

Thu Feb 09, 2012 www.theonion.com

Alarming Study Finds More Than 12 Instances Of Racism Occurred Last Year 02.09.12 NEW YORK—A shocking study released Thursday by sociologists at Columbia University found that more than 12 instances of racism occurred in 2011, suggesting not only that prejudice based on the color of one's skin still exists, but that it remains di... News in Brief » Study Reveals Majority Of Suicides Occur While Trying To Put Fitted Sheet On Bed American Voices » Spanking Doesn't Work "In fairness, those kids who were punished physically were probably bigger punks to begin with." opinion » Off The Top Of My Head by Jean Teasdale Love a good bargain as much as Jean Teasdale? Betcha you don't! For example, I don't call the third day of the week Tuesday anymore—I call it Doublecouponday! Radio News » Junior Building Inspector Closes Down Area Tree House

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, Where are scientists at on cloning? Since the sheep it seems like there’s been nothing. — Paul Goethe, Rochester, NY Most Popular » Alarming Study Finds More Than 12 Instances Of Racism Occurred Last Year Study Reveals Majority Of Suicides Occur While Trying To Put Fitted Sheet On Bed New Photos Reveal Stress Of Obama's First Term In Office Has Rapidly Aged Americans Intelligent, Condescending Life Discovered In Distant Galaxy Meet The Man Inside The Nicolas Cage Costume Report: Watching Episode of 'Downton Abbey' Counts As Reading Book

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