The Onion Daily Dispatch - January 31, 2012

Tue Jan 31, 2012 www.theonion.com

Area Man Thinks It's Nice They Didn't Put The Prettiest Girl Scouts On The Cookie Box 01.31.12 STAMFORD, CT—Local CPA Adam Hober told reporters Wednesday he was pleased to see the Girl Scouts of America had chosen not to feature the most conventionally attractive girls on boxes of their trademark cookies. News in Brief » Area Couple Vows Never To Go Dildo Shopping While Horny Again American Voices » Dogs Domesticated Earlier Than Thought "Those dogs must have had some really stupid names." opinion » I'm More Of A Breast Man And Completely Worthless Human Being, Myself by Jesse Walters In this world, there are all kinds of chicks—tall ones, short ones, fat ones, skinny ones, even some real ugly ones that my buddy Jeff calls "double baggers"—ha! Radio News » Area Man Forces Himself To Drink Free Refill

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, In my yard there’s a bird that’s been injured. Should I just go step on it? — Greg Romanov, Champaign, IL Most Popular » Area Man Thinks It's Nice They Didn't Put The Prettiest Girl Scouts On The Cookie Box FDA Urges Americans To Check Out Weird-Looking Potato Scientists: 'Look, One-Third Of The Human Race Has To Die For Civilization To Be Sustainable, So How Do We Want To Do This?' Super Bowl XLVI Abusive Father Can't Wait To See The Art He's Inspiring His Kids To Create Area Man Forces Himself To Drink Free Refill

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