The Onion Daily Dispatch - December 05, 2011

Mon Dec 05, 2011 www.theonion.com

Report: Global Warming May Be Irreversible By 2006 12.05.11 GENEVA—A new report from the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change warned Monday that global warming is likely to become completely irreversible if no successful effort is made to slow down the trend before 2006. Unless greenhouse-gas emiss... News in Brief » Early Stage Threesome Forming In Corner Of Party  American Voices » Cain Drops Out "That's too bad. He was a serious contender to be president of the United States.” opinion » Even Annoying Twentysomething Shits Like Me Deserve To Have A Future by Jared Arrington While the Declaration of Independence guarantees each of us the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, today's economic uncertainty has kept those sacred rights out of reach for many of our newest college graduates. Radio News » Local Woman Assures Friend She Has Blackouts From Drinking All The Time

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, So here’s the deal. I talk up how great your paper is for a few weeks and you agree to snip my indecent exposure arrest out of the police blotter. What do you say? — Greg O’Neil, Twin Falls, ID Most Popular » Report: Global Warming May Be Irreversible By 2006 Rumors Of Extramarital Affair End Campaign Of Presidential Candidate Who Didn't Know China Has Nuclear Weapons Brief Reprieve From Mariah Carey's Christmas Song Comes To Resounding End Cain Drops Out Local Woman Assures Friend She Has Blackouts From Drinking All The Time Court Rules Meryl Streep Unable To Be Tried By Jury As She Has No Peers

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