The Onion Daily Dispatch - December 01, 2011

Thu Dec 01, 2011 www.theonion.com

Osprey Devours Lion In Massive Food-Chain Shake-Up 12.01.11 DAR ES SALAAM—With its dramatic depiction of an osprey stalking, killing, and eating a lion, a video released Tuesday reveals what alarmed scientists have described as a massive and shocking disruption of the global food chain. The graphic footage, ... News in Brief » Radio DJ Invites Whole Town To Some Bullshit American Voices » U.S. Horse Slaughter To Resume "Yuck! What have they been putting in my horse cakes?" opinion » Even Annoying Twentysomething Shits Like Me Deserve To Have A Future by Jared Arrington While the Declaration of Independence guarantees each of us the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, today's economic uncertainty has kept those sacred rights out of reach for many of our newest college graduates. Radio News » New Once-A-Month Vitamin Presents Choking Hazard

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, So here’s the deal. I talk up how great your paper is for a few weeks and you agree to snip my indecent exposure arrest out of the police blotter. What do you say? — Greg O’Neil, Twin Falls, ID Most Popular » Osprey Devours Lion In Massive Food-Chain Shake-Up Parents Keep Deceased Son's Memory Alive Through His Awful Tumblr Even Annoying Twentysomething Shits Like Me Deserve To Have A Future Nation's 10-Year-Old Boys: 'If You See Someone Raping Us, Please Call The Police' U.S. Horse Slaughter To Resume U.S. Adds 4 Million Jobs But In St. Louis

If you do not want to receive anymore emails from us, please click the following link unsubscribe. To unsubscribe via postal mail please send your request to: 536 Broadway New York NY, 10012 Please include the email address at which you have been contacted. All of our emails are sent from the domain http://www.theonion.com.