The Onion Daily Dispatch - November 30, 2011

Wed Nov 30, 2011 www.theonion.com

54 Iraqis Die In Not Our Problem Anymore 11.30.11 BAGHDAD—A series of massive explosions ripped through a crowded central Baghdad market on Friday, killing at least 54 Iraqi citi­zens in not our problem anymore. Shortly before noon local time, according to sources, four trucks loaded with explo... News in Brief » Radio DJ Invites Whole Town To Some Bullshit American Voices » Scientists Create Lightest Material "Great. I'm looking forward to weighing it." opinion » Even Annoying Twentysomething Shits Like Me Deserve To Have A Future by Jared Arrington While the Declaration of Independence guarantees each of us the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, today's economic uncertainty has kept those sacred rights out of reach for many of our newest college graduates. Radio News » U.S. Citizens Form Massive Special Disinterest Group

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, So here’s the deal. I talk up how great your paper is for a few weeks and you agree to snip my indecent exposure arrest out of the police blotter. What do you say? — Greg O’Neil, Twin Falls, ID Most Popular » Nation's 10-Year-Old Boys: 'If You See Someone Raping Us, Please Call The Police' 54 Iraqis Die In Not Our Problem Anymore Retired Realtor Drawn Back In For One Last Big Score Scientists Create Lightest Material Even Annoying Twentysomething Shits Like Me Deserve To Have A Future U.S. Adds 4 Million Jobs But In St. Louis

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