The Onion Daily Dispatch - November 28, 2011

Mon Nov 28, 2011 www.theonion.com

Nation's 10-Year-Old Boys: 'If You See Someone Raping Us, Please Call The Police' 11.28.11 UNIVERSITY PARK, PA—In the wake of the sex abuse scandal that rocked Penn State earlier this month, a coalition of 10-year-old boys from across the nation held a press conference Saturday outside Beaver Stad-ium, home of college football's Nittany L... News in Brief » Smooth Transaction At DMV Exaggerated Into Story Anyway American Voices » Record Sales Expected For Cyber Monday "It better be worth it. I’ve been camped out in front of my laptop for a week." opinion » I've Never Prayed Before In My Life, But I'm Absolutely Desperate by God Uh…hello? Anybody there? Man, this is so awkward. But I honestly don't know what else to do. Radio News » No One Has Heart To Ask Human Beat Box To Stop

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, So here’s the deal. I talk up how great your paper is for a few weeks and you agree to snip my indecent exposure arrest out of the police blotter. What do you say? — Greg O’Neil, Twin Falls, ID Most Popular » Nation's 10-Year-Old Boys: 'If You See Someone Raping Us, Please Call The Police' I Hope My Baby Doesn't Come Out All Fucked-Up And Shit Older Hispanic Men Line Up Excitedly For 'Breaking Dawn' Premiere Antique Dealer Sick Of Appraising Smurf Collections Congested Values Breaking: Jessica Milly To Start Putting Out

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