The Onion Daily Dispatch - November 15, 2011

Tue Nov 15, 2011 www.theonion.com

Magnanimous Banker Hires Occupy Wall Street Protesters 11.15.11 NEW YORK—Saying the recently arrested protesters had just the right kind of tenacity and pluck needed to shake up the financial services industry, magnanimous and benevolent Morgan Stanley banker Hank Billings approached members of the Occupy Wall S... News in Brief » Report: Military Contractor Overcharged Pentagon For Torturing Iraqi Citizens American Voices » Sword Stolen From Lincoln's Tomb "Weird. I would have taken his skull." opinion » I Got A Beat Down From A Crazy Cat Dude by Jim Anchower Hola, amigos. How's your pecker? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but things have been pretty rough for your pal Jim. Radio News » No One Has Heart To Ask Human Beat Box To Stop

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 A shocking revelation will shake you to the core of your being this week, which is odd, because it's merely the fact that the Doobie Brothers aren't actual brothers. Most Popular » Magnanimous Banker Hires Occupy Wall Street Protesters Man To Sail Around World To Decrease Awareness Of Important Issues Confusing Insult Awkwardly Clarified Friend's Excuses For Why He Can't Hang Out Getting More Sophisticated Over Time Even Newt Gingrich A Little Depressed By Prospect Of Him Running For President Jim And Tracy Put On Fat Suits To See What Life Is Really Like For Awful Fat People

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