The Onion Daily Dispatch - October 07, 2011

Fri Oct 07, 2011 www.theonion.com

Vikings Sticking With McNabb Because They Hate Him 10.07.11 MINNEAPOLIS—In a press conference Thursday, Minnesota head coach Leslie Frazier made it clear Donovan McNabb would remain the team’s quarterback for the foreseeable future, as Frazier and every other person in the Vikings organization completely despises the 12-year veteran and enjoys nothing more than seeing him fail. News in Brief » Apple User Acting Like His Dad Just Died American Voices » Steve Jobs Dead “I hope Apple remembered to ask him for a few more ideas.” opinion » No Matter How Much You Protect Your Kids, Sooner Or Later One Of Them's Going To Drown In A Swimming Pool by Susan Carr Parenting Expert The truth is, there's only so much even the best mommies and daddies can do for their kids. Like it or not, it's only a matter of time before one of your children drowns in a swimming pool. Radio News » Some Lady Weeping In Dairy Aisle

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 As long as people don't look too long and the lights aren't too bright, no one will be able to see where they tried to fix your face from what will happen to it this coming Thursday. Most Popular » Last American Who Knew What The Fuck He Was Doing Dies Apple User Acting Like His Dad Just Died Nervous American Voters Worried About Botching Another Election Layoffs Are Necessary If We Want To Keep The Lights On,' Says CEO Halfway Through Tasting Menu Report: Area Woman Has Best Friends In Whole World Apple: New iPhone Good

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