The Onion Daily Dispatch - September 23, 2011

Fri Sep 23, 2011 www.theonion.com

Indianapolis Announces Really Embarrassing Bid For 2020 Summer Olympics 09.23.11 INDIANAPOLIS—At a press event held Wednesday in the main conference room of the downtown Hyatt Regency, Indianapolis mayor Greg Ballard publicly announced his city's thoroughly embarrassing bid to host the 2020 Summer Olympics. News in Brief » Bill Gates Spends $56 Million On Amazon In One Night American Voices » Satellite To Hit Earth This Week "I'd better see where it lands if I'm going to stow away for its next trip." opinion » They're Canceling My Favorite Soap! by Jean Teasdale Once in a while, something happens that is so out of nowhere and so inexplicable it leaves you gasping for words. And that something happened last month, when it was announced my very favorite soap opera Brink Of Destiny would be going off the air in September! Radio News » Guy Just Totally Smoking Weed On The Street

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Unfortunately for your personal philosophy, it turns out the free market has yet to come up with a truly effective way to just go up to women and start talking to them. Most Popular » Indianapolis Announces Really Embarrassing Bid For 2020 Summer Olympics Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation Bill Gates Spends $56 Million On Amazon In One Night U.N. Address Ends In Tragedy As Ahmadinejad Suffers Third Degree Burns From Malfunctioning Pyrotechnics First-Ever Gay 'Dear John' Letters Begin Reaching U.S. Troops Overseas Satellite To Hit Earth This Week

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