By Richard Lawson Arnold Schwarzenegger's Son to Sexily Conquer the WorldIn a new profile in Details magazine for totally straight dudes, the former Governator's 17-year-old son Patrick, already a shirtless squeal sensation, talks about his plans for the future—in the worlds of business and love. How precocious! It's both strange and completely makes sense that Details would run a story like this. Patrick is young and cute, but maybe dangerously too young. And he's a half-blood Kennedy, a member of a strange and tragic clan. So there's a little adventure and preemptive melancholy in reading the piece. Though, ultimately, he comes across not as some mythic figure of American royalty, a lordling poised at precarious ascendancy, but more like another rich kid with 2011 California designs for living.
Aha. Just another kid who wants to make hip street wear-lite for people like Reggie Bush and Eva Longoria. OK. In defense of the clothing line, Patrick does donate 10% of the profits to charity, which is in keeping with the charitable history of his mother's family. What else! Well, despite all the charity work, kids will be kids:
The rascal! Patrick goes on to say that he made all his seed money back and that his parents weren't thrilled with the negative attention the party sent his way, but they were "glad I had fun with it." Oh, well, that's decent of them. So what about the question on every young maiden's mind. What are the romantic ambitions of Patrick, prince of California? Well, his aims are, predictably, high.
Miley? Oh no no no, that won't do. There must be a Rockefeller or a Vanderbilt or even a Hearst running around somewhere that you can court, Patrick. Someone befitting of your status. Miley Cyrus, escaped country barn swallow, is certainly not that! Tsk tsk, what would great-grandma Rose say? So that's basically Patrick Schwarzenegger, future something. Of course if he chooses to go to college (and he'd better, though he's also just signed with a modeling agency), whatever campus is lucky to have him will greet him with great triumphal parades, victory horns blaring, and he will be carried to the nicest dorm on campus on the shoulders of his inferiors. It is as inevitable as the tides. But don't worry, despite everything, he really is just a down-to-earth kid.
Well, if his uncle says it. [Details; shirtless photo via Splash, inset via Details] | April 19th, 2011 Top Stories |
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Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Arnold Schwarzenegger's Son to Sexily Conquer the World
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