Pit Of Komodo Dragons Shocked To Discover Billionaire Who Owns Them Is Just 26 - July 31, 2013

Wed Jul 31, 2013 www.theonion.com

Fucking Loser At Movie All By Himself 07.30.13 NEW YORK—Sources are confirming that a sad fucking loser, who many speculate has no friends or anyone in his life to talk to, is currently attending a 1:30 p.m. screening of the film Red 2 all by himself. Pit Of Komodo Dragons Shocked To Discover Billionaire Who Owns Them Is Just 26 News in Brief » Publicist’s Single Dream In Life For Nation To Have Wes Bentley Fever Email From Coworker Trying To Organize Office-Wide Social Outing So Unbearably Sad Politician Spots Young Female Aide, And So It Begins American Voices » Border Patrol Finds Pot On Bieber Tour Bus “Whoa, that kid’s got his own bus?” Israeli-Palestinian Peace Talks Restart In D.C. video » Area Desk Doesn't Mind If People Sit On It Like A Chair Every Once In Awhile The Royal baby speaks his first words, an unambitious loser with a happy, fulfilling life still lives in his hometown, and a pool owner has a bathing suit that touched his penis you can borrow. opinion » You’re New Here, But You Should Know That I’m The Guy Whose Computer People Gather Around To Watch Funny Videos by Mark Waggoner By Mark Waggoner Radio News » New Crispy Snack Cracker To Ease Crushing Pain Of Modern Life

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