24-Year-Old Receives Sage Counsel From Venerable 27-Year-Old - May 22, 2013

Wed May 22, 2013 www.theonion.com

‘Our Thoughts Go Out To Oklahoma,’ Says Congressman Mentally Calculating When He Can Bring Up Benghazi Again 05.21.13 VISTA, CA—Following the devastating tornado in Oklahoma this week that killed dozens of residents and displaced many more, U.S. 24-Year-Old Receives Sage Counsel From Venerable 27-Year-Old News in Brief » Father Excitedly Tells 10-Year-Old Son About New Video Game System 2013 Year In Review Photo Essay Shaping Up To Be Quite Horrific Man Derives Depressing Amount Of Pride From Hometown Burger Chain American Voices » Apple Dodged Billions In Taxes “Well, at least they’re the only company doing it.” American Consumers Happiest Since 2007 video » Tim Allen, Mark Wahlberg, And Tara Reid Spotted At Starbucks Discussing Oh God What Are They Planning? The trio spent hours talking, prompting Hollywood to worry that they could be working on a project together. opinion » I'd Say My Least Favorite Part About Being A Restroom Attendant Is Spending 8 Hours A Day In A Room Where People Defecate by Benjamin Canfield By Benjamin Canfield Radio News » New Crispy Snack Cracker To Ease Crushing Pain Of Modern Life

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