Cheat Sheet - Juicy Pope Conspiracy Theories

Today: Carnival Flies Passengers Home , Women in the World Summit 2013 Agenda , Apple Exec Slams Smartphones March 14, 2013 HABEMUS PAPAM 1. Conclave Conspiracy Theories Backstabbing! Holy grudges! What really happened inside the Sistine Chapel during the super-secret Vatican conclave? Barbie Latza Nadeau reports from Rome on the alleged backroom dealings that crowned Francis the new pope. Read it at The Daily Beast GET IT TOGETHER 2. Carnival Flies Passengers Home Quick! Quick! Before human feces run down the walls! That's probably what Carnival Cruise Lines was thinking when it made the decision to fly passengers on a cruise back to Florida when the ship lost power on Thursday. The Carnival Dream's generator failed while docked in the Caribbean. Of course, the toilets stopped working immediately, and no one was allowed to leave. One passenger angrily emailed that the situation was going on for seven hours. Hopefully, this won't get as sticky as the disaster in the Gulf of Mexico last month. Read it at CNN LUCKY GUY 3. Tom Hanks Joins Daily Beast Summit! This year's Women in the World Summit has a new male admirer. Tom Hanks, who currently stars on Broadway in Nora Ephron's posthumous play Lucky Guy, will be joining the event to give a special tribute to the legendary journalist, writer, and director, who died last spring. Plus, see the full agenda and more special guests attending the summit on April 4 and 5. Read it at The Daily Beast NERD ALERT 4. Apple Exec Slams Smartphones Apple's marketing chief thinks Samsung phones are weak—and he's not afraid to say so. Just one day before the company's long-anticipated unveiling of its new smartphone, the Galaxy S4, Phil Schiller slammed smartphones as "inferior" and "simple." The Apple bigwig pointed to smartphones' multicompany existence as the root of their ineffectiveness. "When you take an Android device out of the box, you have to sign up to nine accounts with different vendors to get the experience iOS comes with," he said. Samsung plans to introduce its new model at Radio City Music Hall in New York on Thursday night. Read it at Fox News BARBERSHOP SHOOTING 5. Standoff Ends in Gunman's Death A police standoff with a man accused of killing four in upstate New York ended Thursday morning when police shot and killed the suspect. Kurt Myers, 64, allegedly set his house on fire, before driving to John's Barber Shop where he pulled out a "long gun," and began firing—instantly killing two and injuring two more. But Myers wasn't done. The "small town weirdo" then headed to the local oil-change shop, where he continued the shooting spree, taking the life of one employee. Gov. Andrew Cuomo called the unprovoked attack a "truly inexplicable situation." No motive for the killing has been determined. Read it at NBC News BACKLASH Afghans: 'To Hell' With Daily Beast React on Twitter to piece criticizing President Karzai. IT'S OFFICIAL China's New President Takes Power Xi Jinping now heads Communist Party. VISUAL STIMULI Pandas Love Panda Porn Panda's, they're just like us! IT'S HAPPENING 'Veronica Mars' Raises $2M in Six Hours On Kickstarter. LEADERS WHO LUNCH Putin, Seagal Meet in Russia No, really. GET The Cheat Sheet A speedy, smart summary of news and must-reads from across the Web. You'll love the featured original stories on politics, entertainment, and more from The Daily Beast's diverse group of contributors. GET Culture Beast Weekly cultural recommendations from The Daily Beast. If you believe this has been sent to you in error, please safely unsubscribe. Why Does Google Hate Us? by Winston Ross 17 Facts to Crack the Mystery of Pi by Abby Haglage The Beatles' Secretary Breaks Her Silence by Marlow Stern

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