The Onion Daily Dispatch - June 08, 2012

Fri Jun 08, 2012 www.theonion.com

Local Grandmother Beginning To Realize Family Never Even Looked For Better Nursing Home 06.08.12 ST. MARYS, OH—Local grandmother Janet Lukingbeal said Tuesday it had recently started to dawn on her that family members hadn't even bothered to research nicer nursing homes before admitting her to Horizons Retirement Community six years ago. News in Brief » Man Arrested For Stealing More Than $50,000 In Beards From Hank Williams, Jr. American Voices » Obama Raises $60 Million In May “That amount may sound impressive, but keep in mind that’s in 2012 dollars.” opinion » My Great-Grandfather Started This Business With One Simple Mission That We Abandoned Decades Ago by Jeff Mueller, CEO, DKM Group By Jeff Mueller, CEO, DKM Group Radio News » Kentucky Legislature Bans Gay Pet Weddings

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You will receive a mention in an exhaustive New Yorker piece titled "6 Billion To Watch Under 100." Most Popular » Local Grandmother Beginning To Realize Family Never Even Looked For Better Nursing Home Obama Raises $60 Million In May Nude Man Who Locked Self Out Of House Delivers Moving Treatise On Human Condition To Slowly Gathering Crowd Physicists Discover Our Universe Is Fictional Setting Of Cop Show Called 'Hard Case' LinkedIn Passwords Hacked What Are Our Parents Still Paying For?

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