The Onion Daily Dispatch - March 23, 2012

Fri Mar 23, 2012 www.theonion.com

Kentucky Going To Stick With Strategy Of Having Far-And-Away Better Athletes At Every Position 03.23.12 ATLANTA—In a press conference today regarding the Wildcats' Sweet 16 matchup, Kentucky coach John Calipari revealed to reporters he does not plan to switch up his strategy, which thus far has been to put in athletes who are much more gifted basketba... News in Brief » New Porno Worth Checking Out Even For People Who Aren’t Familiar With 5 Guys Jerking Off On Single Pair Of Tits American Voices » Marine Faces Discharge For Anti-Obama Facebook Posts "I don't understand why he feels the need to express his political viewpoints. Isn't being a faceless killing machine gratification enough?" opinion » Sometimes I Feel Like I’m The Only One Who Gives A Shit About Rich, Lustrous Hair by Marcus Russo , President and CEO, Pantene By Marcus Russo, President and CEO, Pantene Radio News » Boss's Going-Away Party A Little Too Jubilant

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, I find your insistence on correctly ordering your pages insulting. I could still read it, no matter how silly you got with them. — Evelyn Bencin, Luzerne, PA Most Popular » Kentucky Going To Stick With Strategy Of Having Far-And-Away Better Athletes At Every Position Tim Tebow Absolutely Horrified After First Phone Conversation With Rex Ryan Study Finds Newborn Infants Can Tell If Parents Are Losers Marine Faces Discharge For Anti-Obama Facebook Posts Poll Shows Best Part Of Primary Season Has Been Really Getting To Know, Spend Time With 4 Great Guys Broncos Receivers Worried Peyton Manning Going To Expose How Bad They Are

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