The Onion Daily Dispatch - February 16, 2012

Thu Feb 16, 2012 www.theonion.com

Moviegoers Not Interested In Hearing What Is, Isn't Possible, Demand Heath Ledger 'Dark Knight Rises' Appearance 02.16.12 LOS ANGELES—Saying they don't want to hear anything at all about what film producers can or can't do, moviegoers across the country warned Thursday that the latest Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, had better include an appearance by the l... News in Brief » Charlize Theron Hired To Ride Struggling Cleveland Light Rail System Monday Through Friday American Voices » Supreme Court Justice Robbed At Knifepoint "What was Justice Alito doing in the Caribbean with a machete?" opinion » So, How Was Afghanistan? by Debbie Creffler Welcome back! Wow, I almost didn't recognize you. How long has it been? It seems like forever since you left for Afghanistan. Radio News » Deadbeat Dads March On Las Vegas

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Your health continues to decline as your skin becomes too sensitive to endure sunlight and your soul remains too sensitive to endure dark, smoky bars. Most Popular » Moviegoers Not Interested In Hearing What Is, Isn't Possible, Demand Heath Ledger 'Dark Knight Rises' Appearance New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct Nation Refuses To Read Headline Beyond Words '4-Year-Old Girl Forced To' 48-Year-Old Man Actually Very Open To Dating 25-Year-Olds Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon Charlize Theron Hired To Ride Struggling Cleveland Light Rail System Monday Through Friday

If you do not want to receive anymore emails from us, please click the following link unsubscribe. To unsubscribe via postal mail please send your request to: 536 Broadway New York NY, 10012 Please include the email address at which you have been contacted. All of our emails are sent from the domain http://www.theonion.com.