The Onion Daily Dispatch - January 30, 2012

Mon Jan 30, 2012 www.theonion.com

Eli Manning Asks Peyton If He Can Crash At His Place 01.29.12 INDIANAPOLIS—Pointing out that Peyton has a big house in Indianapolis and that they never hang out together anymore, Eli Manning approached his brother Friday to ask if he could crash at his place when he's in town for the Super Bowl. News in Brief » Area Couple Vows Never To Go Dildo Shopping While Horny Again American Voices » Oklahoma Bill Would Ban Use Of Fetuses In Food "Do they realize how much it’ll cost me in gas money if I have to schlep all the way over to Arkansas just to eat a baby?" opinion » I'm More Of A Breast Man And Completely Worthless Human Being, Myself by Jesse Walters In this world, there are all kinds of chicks—tall ones, short ones, fat ones, skinny ones, even some real ugly ones that my buddy Jeff calls "double baggers"—ha! Radio News » Area Child Baffled By Stationary, Nonviolent Images

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, In my yard there’s a bird that’s been injured. Should I just go step on it? — Greg Romanov, Champaign, IL Most Popular » Scientists: 'Look, One-Third Of The Human Race Has To Die For Civilization To Be Sustainable, So How Do We Want To Do This?' Super Bowl XLVI Abusive Father Can't Wait To See The Art He's Inspiring His Kids To Create Eli Manning Asks Peyton If He Can Crash At His Place Time Traveler From The Year 1998 Warns Nation Not To Elect Newt Gingrich Area Child Baffled By Stationary, Nonviolent Images

If you do not want to receive anymore emails from us, please click the following link unsubscribe. To unsubscribe via postal mail please send your request to: 536 Broadway New York NY, 10012 Please include the email address at which you have been contacted. All of our emails are sent from the domain http://www.theonion.com.