The Onion Daily Dispatch - November 22, 2011

Tue Nov 22, 2011 www.theonion.com

Daughter Thinks It's Time To Have Sex Talk With Parents 09.04.02 ST. LOUIS PARK, MN—After months of procrastination, Sara Lister, 13, decided Monday that it is "finally time" to sit her parents down so they can discuss sex with her. News in Brief » Smooth Transaction At DMV Exaggerated Into Story Anyway American Voices » Russian Hackers Target Water Supply "I wouldn't get too caught up in theories of deliberate sabotage. Water Pump Systems Control for Windows 95 contains tons of glitches." opinion » I've Never Prayed Before In My Life, But I'm Absolutely Desperate by God Uh…hello? Anybody there? Man, this is so awkward. But I honestly don't know what else to do. Radio News » No One Has Heart To Ask Human Beat Box To Stop

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, So here’s the deal. I talk up how great your paper is for a few weeks and you agree to snip my indecent exposure arrest out of the police blotter. What do you say? — Greg O’Neil, Twin Falls, ID Most Popular » Daughter Thinks It's Time To Have Sex Talk With Parents Area Grandmother Comes Forward As 'Banksy' All Of Family's Neuroses Projected Onto Dog Newborn Baby Imprisons Area Man Russian Hackers Target Water Supply High Integrity, Moral Decency Has Cost Idiot Man Millions

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