The Onion Daily Dispatch - November 17, 2011

Thu Nov 17, 2011 www.theonion.com

Rick Santorum Asks U.S. Populace If He's Still Running For President 11.17.11 DES MOINES, IA—At a campaign stop Monday, former Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum asked a crowd assembled in the parking lot of a Hy-Vee supermarket if he was still running for president. News in Brief » Report: Jessica Milly Has Put Out American Voices » NASA Seeking Astronauts “Perfect! I've had a hard time finding work, and it would be nice to keep the family in Houston.” opinion » I Got A Beat Down From A Crazy Cat Dude by Jim Anchower Hola, amigos. How's your pecker? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but things have been pretty rough for your pal Jim. Radio News » No One Has Heart To Ask Human Beat Box To Stop

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, Why is it that almost every time we pick up The Onion we have to read about another beached whale? What is this, The Onion For Beached Whales? — Erin Richard, Saratoga Springs, NY Most Popular » NASA Seeking Astronauts Breaking: Jessica Milly To Start Putting Out Rick Santorum Asks U.S. Populace If He's Still Running For President Owning A Boat Is Not Worth It Report: Jessica Milly Has Put Out Brooke Alvarez Teaches Us How To Deal With Uninformed People

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