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Thursday, May 31, 2012
The Accidental Asshole: Pinpoint How You're Annoying People and Do Something About It
May 31st, 2012Top StoryThe Accidental Asshole: Pinpoint How You're Annoying People and Do Something About ItBy Thorin Klosowski
It's easy to talk about self improvement, but in reality we're not that adept at seeing our own faults. The problem is that most people aren't going to tell you when you're doing something wrong until it gets to a point where they don't want to hang around you anymore. I'm the type who's easily annoyed, so I assume most of my friends and family are as well. It's also no secret that humans as a race have a lot of pet peeves, whether it's at the office, on a mobile phone, or in a restaurant. To find out how I may be annoying the people around me, I wanted to open up a dialogue where friends and strangers could give me a performance review to help me pinpoint when I'm being an asshole and actually do something about it. Here's how I did it, and how you can do the same. Gather Critiques Anonymously from Friends, Family, and Strangers
For the bulk of my friends and associates I figured the best way to open up the dialogue was through an anonymous service. The easiest way to do this was through the previously mentioned webapp Failin.gs, a service that allows me to anonymously poll my friends and family online. Failin.gs is simple to use. First you set up an account and link it to your Facebook or Twitter profile. Then you can set the privacy level in one of two ways: the default view, where everyone can see the feedback you receive, or private, where no one sees other people's comments. I chose private because I wanted people to feel comfortable knowing nobody except me could see their responses. When your account is set up you'll get a direct link that you can share on Facebook, Twitter, or directly by email. Once my account was created I shared the link through Facebook and email and explained that I was looking to find how I accidentally upset people. To step things up a notch I also decided to make small cards to hand out to servers and bartenders over the weekend. The cards aren't a necessary step for most people, but I've always wanted to know what type of customer I am. When the week is up you'll hopefully have a collection of critiques from people you're close to and some you don't know at all. I had 23 different responses ranging from the easy to remedy "You tipped well and were polite. But you muttered your order and didn't speak clearly," to the more complex, "Most of the time you're fine, but sometimes you split without saying goodbye or saying anything to anyone." The information you get is really helpful and we'll go through how to work through it below, but first we're going to collect another round of data. Schedule a Coffee Break to Talk it Out
In both cases the critiques I received echoed the anonymous critiques from Failin.gs, but I also got a more a little more information to work on a plan of attack. If all went on both steps you're probably feeling a little crappy about yourself. This is a good thing. Now it's time to fix those silly problems. Photo by tom stovall. Take the Critiques and Turn Them into Actionable ImprovementsThe point of all this is accumulate a rounded third-person perspective of who you are. Many of your asshole qualities will likely be critiques you've always known about yourself but you likely learned a few new quirks as well. The first step is to decide whether the feedback you received is worth your time and then throw it into a category. These categories might be something like habits, personality quirks, and direct asshole moves. Let's take a look at a few of mine. Pick Out and Categorize the Critiques You Want to Tackle
Another repeated critique dealt with the fact I rarely show emotion and look grumpy most of the time. This one goes in the quirks section alongside a waiter's comment that I mumbled my orders. I also had two people complain about a weird habit I didn't know about. Apparently when I'm bored I stroke my facial hair (when I have facial hair) like some type of maniacal crazy person. I'd prefer not to look crazy, so this one goes into the habits section. Continue this through every critique you gathered. Take a good hard look at each suggestion and decide what really matters to you. You shouldn't care too much what people think of you so only take suggestions you want to work on. Pick Your Improvements and Take Them On One at a Time
It's also important to know what to ignore. Some of the critiques you receive will be wrong and others will be little things that aren't worth worrying about. For instance, one person mentioned that I always try and order first at restaurants. This is simply not true, especially when you look at another comment that says I'm often too polite and don't take the initiative when ordering food. The fact is sometimes a single situation will stand out for someone and while they're worth considering you don't have to beat yourself up over them. Habits are a different beast. If you're doing something repeatedly that's annoying or bothering people you need to come up with an actual plan of attack. We've talked before about how to break bad habits, and you want to take the same approach here. The nice part is that since you went through this process your habits are already a public affair so the next step is to slowly taper of doing them. In my case, this just means slapping my hand away from my face when I twist my beard and trying to implement a new habit of actually socializing with people in daylight on the weekends. In the end it's about being mindful of yourself when you're around other people. The type of critiques offered by your friends will help you not just stop accidentally being a jerk, but also help you improve yourself in ways you may have never thought of before. Being an asshole is one thing, but being an accidental asshole is never fun. How about you, do you feel like you ever accidentally stir up people's pet peeves without even knowing it? Do you feel like you should correct for it? Photo by Dimitar Nikolov. Title image remixed from Leremy (Shutterstock).  | From Our SponsorTop Stories
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The Beverly Hills Mansion With 10 Ferraris In The Driveway Is For Sale
May 31st, 2012Top StoryThe Beverly Hills Mansion With 10 Ferraris In The Driveway Is For SaleBy Benjamin Preston
But Marciano's massive, gated home with 10 or more Ferraris and other luxury vehicles usually parked on the driveway — it was once a popular stop for open-topped vans full of tourists peering at the kind of opulence they'll never know — has lain fallow for two years. The house, seized in forced bankruptcy proceedings is up for sale for a cool $24.5 million. The palatial home was just icing on the cake, and the openly displayed array of red and yellow prancing stallions were the cherry on top. Before he lost everything in a ruinous lawsuit, Marciano had houses all over the world, a Boeing 737, substantial art and rare coin collections, even a $16 million 84-karat diamond he purchased for his daughter, Chloe. Marciano was an icon of the American dream. Growing up poor in France, he had dropped out of school to work in the garment industry. When he and his three brothers came to the U.S. in 1981 to start their own clothing line, Georges was already well on his way to showing that he had designs that were different than anything anyone else had to offer. He was able to convince the fashion world that worn out jeans sold new was the next hot thing. Plus, his name was "Georges," for fuck's sake. His Guess? acid-washed jeans rocked the industry in the 80s, turning an article of clothing that had once been the provence of workmen and prisoners into flamboyant artistic creations that looked like they'd been worn through a hurricane of bleach. The Marcianos made millions, and Georges — who received an award from the Los Angeles Museum of Art as California's designer of the year in 1987 — sold his share of the company for $220 million. Think about it. He didn't have much when he'd arrived 12 years earlier, and in '93 he was sitting on nearly quarter of a billion dollars. And he was determined to make his fortune grow. Marciano shifted his interests to real estate, where he also did well. He sold the Beverly Hills Bank of America tower in 2005 for a staggering $135 million. But every fairy tale has its ending. Marciano's 2004 divorce from an 18-year marriage and his prescription drug abuse are among those chicken-and-egg scenarios to which we'll never have an answer. The Los Angeles Times reported that along with his design and business genius, philanthropy, and charm came a mercurial temperament. He was known to fly off the handle at the smell of someone's food or a crinkled $100 bill. He also reportedly spent as much as $3,000 per week on pills. Eventually, the poor guy lost it, and became paranoid that employees had robbed him of $1.4 million over the years. When he sued more than 50 former au pairs in 2005, the results weren't what he had expected. An investigation was unable to cover any evidence proving Marciano's theory, and the women turned around and countersued him. He lost big, with the judge awarding $425,000 in damages to the plaintiffs. It was enough to ruin even Marciano, who skipped town and opened up shop in Montreal. The 20,000 square foot home he lost resides in one of Beverly Hills' more coveted neighborhoods. It was built in 1927 by Robert D. Farquhar, and has been home to a number of unrecognizable Hollywood bigshots since then. L.A.'s Real Estalker describes its ridiculous opulence thusly:
But it doesn't come with the Ferraris. Where those ended up is anyone's Guess? Hanging out in Canada hasn't sheltered Marciano from losing more of his vast wealth to the authorities, this time the Canadian ones. They're waiting to see what California does with him before they decide what to do with the spoils of bankruptcy. (Hat tip to doug-g!) Photo credit: Virtual Globetrotter  |
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One Year Later, Did Microsoft Keep Their E3 2011 Promises?
May 31st, 2012Top StoryOne Year Later, Did Microsoft Keep Their E3 2011 Promises?By Kate Cox
Last year, Microsoft may as well have called their press presentation the Kinect Hour. While the Xbox 360 itself is aging and rumors about its inevitable successor continue to circulate, Microsoft featured no new hardware announcements last year (and looks unlikely to do so this year either). Instead, Microsoft sang the praises of the Kinect and all the ways in which its motion tracking and voice recognition capabilities work with both their games and with streaming media and other entertainment. So between motion sensing and a few big game announcements, how have the last twelve months of reality stacked up against Microsoft's promises? Let's take a look. Game PromisesThe Game: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 The Game: Dance Central 2 The Game: Fable: The Journey The Game: EA Sports lineup The Game: Forza Motorsport 4 The Game: Gears of War 3 The Game: Ghost Recon: Future Soldier The Game: Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary The Game: Halo 4 The Game: Kinect Disneyland Adventures The Game: Kinect Sports Season Two The Game: Kinect Star Wars The Game: Mass Effect 3 The Game: Minecraft The Game: Ryse The Game: Sesame Street: Once Upon a Monster The Game: Tomb Raider Xbox Feature PromisesThe Feature: Bing for Xbox Live The Feature: Content and Entertainment Partnerships The Feature: Kinect support for the Xbox dashboard and Xbox Live The Feature: Kinect Fun Labs The Feature: UFC on Xbox Live So on the whole, not a bad showing for Microsoft. But when you don't announce very much—and last year at E3, they didn't—it's not as hard to keep to your word. An absolutely huge percentage of Microsoft's stage time last year was spent on Kinect features, Kinect games, and Kinect upgrades for Xbox software or existing franchises. The Halo 4 announcement dropped in at the very end, after they thanked everyone for coming. This year, we know we can look forward to a new Gears of War. What other big announcements are coming? We'll find out next week.  |
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