The Onion Daily Dispatch - September 17, 2012

Mon Sep 17, 2012 www.theonion.com

Newborn Loses Faith In Humanity After Record 6 Days 09.17.12 SCHAUMBURG, IL—In a turn of events that has stunned the worldwide medical community, local infant Nathan Jameson, born just six days ago, has become the youngest person ever to permanently and irrevocably lose all faith in humanity. “This shat... News in Brief » Munchstrosity Created In Frito-Layboratory American Voices » USA Today Redesigned “Wow! Where can I buy one of those?” opinion » Your Honor, This Is Going To Sound Silly, But How Am I Doing So Far? by Marshall Braithwaite, Prosecutor By Marshall Braithwaite, Prosecutor Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

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