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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Kanye West Signs With CAA


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Jimmy Kimmel Stepping in to Announce Emmy Nominees


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Feinberg's Final Emmy Predictions

 
 
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Feinberg's Final Emmy Predictions

 
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Exclusive: Gwyneth Paltrow to Star in 'Blood, Bones & Butter'


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The Onion Weekly Dispatch - July 18, 2012

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God Admits Humans Not Most Impressive Creation 07.18.12

THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH—The Lord our God, Divine Creator and Ruler of the Universe, announced Wednesday that He considered mountains, not mankind, to be far and away the most impressive thing He had ever brought into being. Calling the selection ...

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More People Turning To YouTube For News

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HP "On That Cloud Thing That Everyone Else Is Talking About"

HP announced they're making a new push into cloud computing and that they totally know what that is.

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My Year Volunteering As A Teacher Helped Educate A New Generation Of Underprivileged Kids vs. Can We Please, Just Once, Have A Real Teacher

by Brandon Mendez, James Miller Elementary School Student

Point My Year Volunteering As A Teacher Helped Educate A New Generation Of Underprivileged Kids When I graduated college last year, I was certain I wanted to make a real difference in the world. After 17 years of education, I felt an obligation to share ...

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Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19

You’ve tried all your life to follow your dreams, probably because you had no idea of the terrible places they’d ultimately be going.

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Box Office Preview: 'Dark Knight Rises' Earns Massive $25 Mil in Advance Sales

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Disenfranchise Mode: The Exhausting, Infuriating, Totally Addictive Baseball Simulation Game That Imitates Life Too Well

July 18th, 2012Top Story

Disenfranchise Mode: The Exhausting, Infuriating, Totally Addictive Baseball Simulation Game That Imitates Life Too Well

By Eric Nusbaum

Disenfranchise Mode: The Exhausting, Infuriating, Totally Addictive Baseball Simulation Game That Imitates Life Too WellThe summer after my freshman year of college, I told somebody's mother that I wouldn't be attending her son's funeral. I remember the moment, if not the conversation, with great clarity. I was working in my dad's shop, filling orders for spare bike rack parts, when my phone rang. My hands were sticky with glue from the ancient packing-tape dispenser.

Here are some things I didn't tell her: I never met your son. We only talked on the phone once or twice. He had my number in the first place because we played at being general managers in the same imaginary baseball league. When Chris and I did speak, it was about lineup exports.

Here is something I don't remember if I told her: I'm so sorry.

I was 18. Chris, sick as he was, could not have been much older. I panicked. Our friendship was too convoluted and trivial to explain in the moment. Who was I to waste the time of a mother as she slogged dutifully from A through Z in her dead son's contact list when I didn't even know what her dead son looked like? But there was also another thing that was harder to admit: Chris's death turned something fake into something real.

The world that Chris and I shared was centered around a game called Out of the Park Baseball, or OOTP. In simple terms, OOTP is a simulation game—a computerized descendant of Strat-O-Matic. Imagine a highly complex, supercharged version of the Franchise Mode you'd find in a sports video game and take away the pixelated players moving about the field. What you have left is an insanely powerful, super-complex text-based approximation of baseball management. OOTP allows you to set lineups, make trades, and sign free agents. It also allows you to set ticket prices, allot a specialized country-by-country budget for international scouting, and take part in your very own Rule 5 draft.

"OOTP is the only baseball sim I've ever been addicted to," says Curt Schilling on the company website. And he's not lying, either: Schilling has posted 93 times on OOTP's teeming, vibrant message board, about topics so banal only a truly committed player could find them compelling: preventing injuries to pitchers in the low minor leagues; adjusting the average ages of the amateur draft pool. Schilling appears to play alone. His message board posts indicate a man deeply invested in his own private baseball world: "I am in year 7 of my team, won the WS in year 3, haven't won it since," he writes in one post.

In OOTP, you are a prisoner of the whims of the artificial realities that you inhabit.

Chris and I played in an online league called Major Baseball League, or MBL. It worked a lot like fantasy baseball. There were 30 GMs, one for each team. Instead of winning or losing based on the real-life performances of players you drafted before the season, we won or lost according to the simulated performances of ratings-based approximations of real-life players. We moved fast, playing a few MBL seasons and offseasons in a calendar year. Trade negotiations, which were ongoing, happened by way of AOL Instant Messenger. The MBL message board was a hub of activity—there were articles written, awards dispensed. For a while, there was an MBL Arizona Fall League.

I was unnaturally susceptible to the charms of OOTP, the type of kid who filled the margins of all his notebooks with fantasy-baseball trade ideas and optimized Dodger lineups for five years down the road. In school, my class notes were framed by scribbled speculation about what kind of real-life stats Shawn Green and Brian Jordan might put up. By the end of my senior year in high school, I'd gone down the rabbit hole. At my peak, I was playing in the neighborhood of five sim leagues at a time, including a basketball league (using a program similar to OOTP), and a historic baseball league set in the 1950s. My computer screen was full of trade negotiations, the AIM chat windows flashing in the menu bar. The scribbled marginalia in my notebooks began to annex entire pages. Meanwhile, I also played alone—eschewing the company of fellow human GMs to enter fictional worlds, with fictional players, and leading franchises decades into the future.

In Robert Coover's 1971 novel The Universal Baseball Association, Inc., J. Henry Waugh, Prop., middle-aged accountant Henry Waugh becomes increasingly obsessed with the alternate reality of his own invented table-top baseball simulation. The players, the rules, the very system by which the Universal Baseball Association operates are all of Henry's own devising. He invents histories, writes game recaps, and is always on the hunt for names for potential players. (The book is worth picking up for the names alone—extravagantly folkloric American names of the sort you might hope to find on the headstones in a Civil War cemetery, names like Swannee Law, Rag Rooney, and Sycamore Flynn.) Henry becomes so invested in the fates of his players and teams that the line between their world and his begins to blur, even though the entire Universal Baseball Association exists only in Henry's composition books and dice throws.

The dice are the heart of the Association. They are miraculous and cruel. Henry has perfected a detailed, comprehensive odds-based system in which three dice can determine anything that could happen in a baseball game. Henry is fully aware of the irony: He gave the dice their power, and yet he is enslaved by them; enslaved by the banality of actual odds and by the omnipresent possibility that he will roll a 1-1-1 or 6-6-6 and be dispatched to the Stress Chart, or more dramatic yet, to the Chart of Extraordinary Occurrences, whence players are led into fisticuffs, into fixed ballgames, even into death. "These two charts," Coover writes, "were what gave the game its special quality, making it much more than just a series of hits and walks and outs."

I don't think J. Henry Waugh would be offended by my opinion that Out of the Park Baseball shares this special quality. The game offers an infinite number of alleyways into baseball—and, once inside, infinite possibilities. You can be a manager, a minor league manager, a general manager. You can, like Henry, be a commissioner. There are story lines. There are sabermetrics. There are bean balls and ensuing brawls. But what gives the game its mystical power, what makes it so much more than just a series of hits and walks and outs, is the fact that one never fully plays OOTP. On some level, the game plays itself. Like Ron Washington says, baseball do what baseball do—often to the manager's dismay. Building a dynasty in a console video game's Franchise Mode or in a traditional fantasy league can be a matter of simply executing a plan, exploiting a system. Doing so in OOTP requires an aligning of the stars. As an OOTP GM, you can't fall back on playing the game yourself (roster construction be damned) or blaming it on real-life injuries (fantasy baseball is all luck anyway). In OOTP, you are a prisoner of the whims of the artificial realities that you inhabit.

After a five-year sim-baseball hiatus, I recently downloaded the newest version of Out of the Park Baseball, OOTP 13, and so far the stars have not aligned for me. In season after season, in every kind of league setup, in ways easily predictable and completely vexing, I have failed as a GM. I've quickly rediscovered how terrible I am at the game, how unsuited temperamentally I am to a hobby that pushes back with so much force, and demands so much attention. Time moves fast in OOTP. Ratings tumble in great heaps; scouting departments get No. 1 picks all wrong; and sometimes Troy Tulowitzki bats .230. Sometimes fictional first basemen named Tex Houston win the triple crown playing for the Seattle Whales. You can't predict baseball. In real life, this is not a problem for me. In OOTP, it is. The game imitates life too well. Circumstances change in frustrating ways. OOTP disappoints me. Realizing that I'm disappointed only disappoints me further.

Yet I continue to play. Despite having the ability to customize game settings, to do away with whatever fluctuations and quirks make the game so infuriating, I choose not to. It is OOTP's capacity to frustrate me, to simultaneously heighten and numb my senses like some sort of low-grade methadone, that draws me back in. Over the past few weeks, in order to be even halfway productive, I've had to make a forceful and conscientious decision to close OOTP 13, or not to open it in the first place. Even reading The Universal Baseball Association, which I bought explicitly to read for this article, and which is not a long book, and which by all means I really enjoyed, became a chore in the most literal sense. Why bother with Henry's Pioneers when Tex Houston and my Seattle Whales franchise are right there in front of me?

The game has nearly made me late for work. It has rendered my apartment a mess, my refrigerator even emptier than usual. Over the last few days, I've found myself re-reading Tom Bissell's insane and depressing account of getting simultaneously addicted to cocaine and Grand Theft Auto. I've found myself perusing websites like WowDetox.com, where people post horrifying stories about lives squandered because of World of Warcraft. (Sample entry: "I Used to listen to Beatles music while playing WoW, now I can never listen to Beatles music without thinking about the game."). I don't know whether I'm trying to scare myself straight, or just remind myself that it's not so bad, that I don't need to feel guilty or scared.

It's the fear that will get me. Soon enough, I'll uninstall OOTP 13. The game icon will prove too ominous on my desktop. The opportunity cost of each hour spent in simulated arbitration hearings will prove too high. I know this because it's happened before. The last time was in 2007, when I quit all of my sim leagues, MBL included, for good. I'm the sort of person who never feels like he's being productive enough (in part because I am rarely being especially productive). Plenty of people are capable of playing OOTP and also living well. I am not one of those people. The specter of time better spent looms behind every chat window and scouting profile.

While writing this, I reached out to a few of the guys I played with in MBL. I'm still in regular contact with some of them anyway. They all said that, as a GM, I was sort of bipolar: one minute tentative, the next wanting to trade Kevin Brown for prospects. Generally, I was ineffective, which makes sense. My management style paralleled my relationship with the game itself. I love thee, I love thee not; I love thee, I hate myself; I love thee, I hate myself even more. You get the picture. In college, especially, I struggled to balance my involvement in sim baseball with my involvement in everything else. I aspired to keep the worlds as far apart as possible (I may lack Henry's imagination, but I best him in self-control). I never talked about OOTP to my real-life friends. Even my girlfriend, whom I've known since freshman year of college, had no idea that I played these games until a few weeks ago.

The chasm I dug between OOTP and everything else is why now, almost seven years later, I still think about getting that phone call from Chris's mom. I think about the phone call more than I think about Chris's death. At the time, he was not a fully formed person to me. Sure, I knew Chris was real. I even had vague notions of his illness. We had negotiated trades, chatted meaningfully about sports and life, and spoken on the phone those couple of times. But Chris was of the game in the same way that Tex Houston, Seattle Whales first baseman, was of the game. Our relationship was defined by OOTP. It existed in a world I tucked into the far corners of my imagination and relegated to the margins of my notebooks. When Chris died, that world revealed itself as dramatically subservient to the goings-on of the larger one. Chris had a mother. Chris had a funeral.

The MBL GM of the Year Award was named for Chris (and still is). And eventually somebody came in and took over his Angels franchise. Meanwhile, the game has not changed. The MBL has upgraded from one edition of OOTP to the next. It has wrecked entire histories only to begin again with brand new ones. But mostly it has hummed along, oblivious. Dice don't care who throws them.

Eric Nusbaum founded Pitchers & Poets and is a founder of The Classical. His work has appeared in Slate, The Billfold, GQ.com, TheAtlantic.com, and The Best American Sports Writing. He may one day tweet again @ericnus.

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Build the Perfect, Portable, Powerful Mac, Then Carry It in Your Pocket

July 18th, 2012Top Story

Build the Perfect, Portable, Powerful Mac, Then Carry It in Your Pocket

By Alan Henry

Build the Perfect, Portable, Powerful Mac, Then Carry It in Your Pocket How would you like to take your Mac with you in your pocket? Until Apple builds a Macbook Mini, the most portable, powerful Mac you'll ever have is the one you set up yourself. All you need is a USB hard drive and a little time, and when you're done, you'll have a perfect copy of your Mac in your pocket that you can use to boot any other Mac you find, clone a loaner computer in case your primary breaks down, and keep a headless backup of your Mac for troubleshooting wherever you go.

OS X makes it super-easy to clone your entire hard drive to a USB device, and then boot from the USB device instead of from the hard drive in your system and work like normal. That means it's really easy to take your Mac with you on an external hard drive and get to work without missing a beat.

Build the Perfect, Portable, Powerful Mac, Then Carry It in Your Pocket

Why You Need a Portable Mac In Your Pocket

Keeping a portable Mac in your pocket can ensure you're productive from anywhere and can make you a Mac troubleshooting master. Here's what we mean:

  • Troubleshooting: If you're the type who likes to tinker with your system, having a bootable Mac-on-a-drive makes it possible for you to troubleshoot system issues anytime, anywhere. Load up your drive with testing tools and repair utilities, and you're never without a way to fix—or restore—an ailing Mac.
  • Portability: Keeping a bootable Mac on a drive means that anywhere you have access to Mac hardware is a place you can work. If you don't have a Macbook Pro or Air, or just don't want to lug it with you, your bootable hard drive can give you all the tools you need to be productive anywhere you go.
  • Loaner Systems: If you have to send your system away for repairs, being without it for days at a time doesn't mean you can't get your work done. Even if you don't want to just boot to your hard drive, you can always use the drive to image a loaner system, get your work done, re-image your Mac when it comes back, and wipe the loaner.
  • Backups: The most obvious benefit is that you'll always have a drive to image your Mac's current system to, whether you use the drive as bootable storage for dated images, or you re-image the drive periodically so you can essentially boot to your Mac whenever you need to.

If these sound good to you, you're in luck—getting your own pocket-sized bootable Mac takes a matter of minutes.

Build the Perfect, Portable, Powerful Mac, Then Carry It in Your Pocket

What You'll Need

Ready to get started? Here's what you'll need:

Step One: Clone Your Current Mac

Once you've assembled all of your tools, the first thing you'll want to do is format your external hard drive and clone your Mac to it. Install Carbon Copy Cloner, and connect your external USB drive. From there, here's what you'll need to do.

  • Build the Perfect, Portable, Powerful Mac, Then Carry It in Your Pocket Format Your External Drive: Your new external drive probably has a pre-bundled crap on it you don't want. Plus, we need to format the drive so your Mac can boot from it.
    1. Open Disk Utility (Applications Folder > Utilities Folder), and select your new drive from the list on the left.
    2. Select "Partition" from the tabs on the right. If you'd like to partition the drive—to have a bootable volume and a data volume on the same hard drive, for example—now is the time to do it. Make sure your partitions have names, and next to "Format" on the right, you have "Mac OS Extended (Journaled) selected.
    3. Next, select the partition you want to be bootable (or the only one, if you're sticking to one partition), and click "Options" at the bottom of the screen.
    4. Select "GUID Partition Table" from the three options here. This will allow you to boot an Intel-based Mac to the external hard drive. Click Ok. You'll be prompted to confirm your choice. Click Ok again.
  • Clone Your Mac: After Disk Utility partitions and formats your external drive, it's time to clone your system over to it.
    1. Build the Perfect, Portable, Powerful Mac, Then Carry It in Your PocketClose Disk Utility and fire up Carbon Copy Cloner.
    2. The first window you'll see will ask you to select a source on the left and a destination on the right. Choose your Mac's internal drive as the source, and your external hard drive as the destination. From here, you can deselect any items you don't want to clone, but we'd suggest keeping everything. After all, you want your bootable drive to be a perfect copy of your Mac.
    3. Click "Clone" to kick the process off.
  • Grab A Drink: Depending on the size of your Mac's drive and how much data you have on it, this process can take a while - over an hour if you have a lot of data to copy. This might be something you want to let run overnight, if you're moving from large drive to large drive.

Step Two: Boot to Your Portable Mac

Once Carbon Copy Cloner is done, it'll pop up an alert to let you know the cloning process is finished. Put your drink down: it's time to test the drive and make sure it works. Open up System Preferences, and select "Startup Disk." You should see your newly cloned hard drive in the list. Select it, and click "Restart." Alternatively, press and hold the Option key the next time you start up your Mac with the drive attached—you'll get dropped into the startup manager, and you can select your newly cloned drive from there.

Once your system is up and running, it should look, behave, and operate exactly like your Mac—you should just have much more free space (or an extra partition, if you created a data volume.) Check and make sure your applications work (some apps with strict licensing may need to be re-registered or have their license keys re-entered).

Once you've verified that everything's working, you're ready to go: Pop that drive in your pocket and you have the power to boot any Mac you find, any time, anywhere, and land on your desktop, with your wallpaper and your apps and files. Just follow the same steps from any Mac:

  1. Plug your OS X boot drive into any Mac
  2. Open System Preferences and select "Startup Disk."
  3. Select your cloned hard drive from the list and click "Restart."

Build the Perfect, Portable, Powerful Mac, Then Carry It in Your Pocket

Step Three: Tweak Your Portable Mac

Now that you have your portable Mac ready for use, it's time to customize the build. If you wanted your pocket Mac for system troubleshooting, now's the time to install some system utilities on it that you wouldn't normally be able to run against your Mac's internal hard drive if you were booted up to it directly. Here are a few suggestions:

  • IceClean, a previously mentioned system maintenance tool.
  • Onyx, our favorite system tweaker for the Mac works whether you're booted to the drive or not, but works faster when you're not.
  • Cocktail is a great system maintenance and optimization tool to clean out temporary files and caches, defrag your startup disk, check your Mac's drive health, and more.
  • Diskwarrior repairs ailing hard drives, and can recover data from drives that Disk Utility has trouble verifying or repairing. It's pricey at $99, but if your drive is dying and you need something from it, it may be worth it.
  • Tech Tool Pro is controversial, mostly because it too is $99 and Micromat will charge you for every update, upgrade, or feature improvement, but it has one of the most comprehensive hardware testing suites I've seen. It's an old tool and has been around for a long time—I wouldn't use it to try and fix problems so much as firmly prove whether the issues you have are hardware-related or software-based.

Disk Utility and Carbon Copy Cloner themselves work better when you're booted to a drive other than the one you're trying to verify, repair, or back up, so keep them installed as well. The beautiful thing about using your drive for troubleshooting is that you can fix problems with not just your main Mac, but anyone else's Mac. You can diagnose hardware problems that Apple Store Geniuses can't figure out, and even reinstall OS X entirely—all from your pocket.

If you're optimizing your portable Mac for productivity, you're already set—it's a perfect copy of your main Mac. If you're building your USB drive so you can install Mac OS on other systems, follow our guide to building a Lion install USB drive using a partition on your external drive—but a better method would be to take an image of a perfectly set up Mac—complete with all the apps and settings you'd want so you can get right to work—and store that on your external drive. Then, instead of just installing OS X, you can image any new Mac with the OS, applications, and settings you want. In fact, you can use the drive to take regular, dated images of your Mac's internal drive, just to keep them as whole-system backups you can restore from at any time.

Build the Perfect, Portable, Powerful Mac, Then Carry It in Your Pocket

Be Aware of Your Limitations

This method works well with Macs running OS X 10.4 "Tiger" forward. Just be careful that you're booting a Mac with the same operating system on it. You may run into issues trying to boot an older OS to a Mac that shipped with a newer one on it (trying to boot Leopard to a Mac that shipped with Lion, for example) but you shouldn't have a problem as long as your portable Mac is up to date and running the most recent version of the OS. Keep that in mind if you run into issues trying to boot a Mac with your drive and it's not recognizing your USB drive as a startup device.

Apple has a knowledgebase page dedicated to this topic, and another with a table of systems and the OSes they shipped with so you can check before booting that the Mac hardware you're looking to boot your drive to will work. Aside from this however, you shouldn't run into any issues. The process will likely change a little when Apple releases OS X 10.8 "Mountain Lion," but most of the steps here will remain the same.


Even if you don't spend money on expensive troubleshooting tools, or opt for an external hard drive that doesn't necessarily fit in your pocket, cloning your current Mac to an external hard drive has a world of benefits—the least of which is giving you a version of your Mac that you can use if your boot drive is all mucked up. Do you have any other troubleshooting tools you'd suggest for that external drive? Have you done this before and have some more tips to share? Let us know in the discussions below.



Title image remixed from wasa_d (Shutterstock).

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