The Onion Daily Dispatch - October 23, 2012

Tue Oct 23, 2012 www.theonion.com

Obama Takes Out Romney With Mid-Debate Drone Attack 10.22.12 BOCA RATON, FL—Saying that the high-value target represented a major threat to their most vital objectives, Obama administration officials confirmed tonight that former governor Mitt Romney was killed by a predator drone while attending a presidenti... News in Brief » Romney Delivers Stern Warning To China, Speaking Directly Into The Camera In Fluent Mandarin American Voices » Boys Now Entering Puberty Younger “Are we sure kids today aren’t just getting uglier and smellier?” opinion » Would A Man Who Doesn't Support Women Let His Wife Pick Out Any Oven She Wants For Her Birthday? by Mitt Romney, Republican Nominee For President Of The United States By Mitt Romney Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You'll have your train of thought derailed this week, instantly killing thousands of Indian passengers, injuring countless livestock, and choking the streets with cargo and crew. Most Popular » Weeping Obama Breaks Down, Admits Bin Laden Still Alive And Out There Somewhere Obama Takes Out Romney With Mid-Debate Drone Attack Boys Now Entering Puberty Younger Romney Foreign Policy Debate Prep In Crisis Mode After Discovering Existence Of Country Called 'Womania' Romney Pledges To Replace All Foreign Policy With Jobs Right Here In America Both Candidates Announcing Unmitigated Support For Eugenics Virtually Only Way Tonight's Debate Will Matter At All

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