The Onion Daily Dispatch - March 30, 2012

Fri Mar 30, 2012 www.theonion.com

Exhaustive Investigation By Broadcasters Finds Every Player In NCAA Tournament Just A Great Kid 03.30.12 NEW ORLEANS—An intensive monthlong investigation conducted by the color commentators, play-by-play announcers, studio analysts, sideline reporters, and other personnel tasked with televising the 2012 NCAA Men's Basketball Championship tournament con... News in Brief » New Walgreens Facebook Plugin Allows Users To See What Prescriptions Friends Are Picking Up American Voices » Zimmerman Appears Uninjured In Video "Perhaps the Sanford police should consider switching to the Canon Legria HF G10, which shoots 1920 by 1080 high-def video with an optional 25p frame rate for a truly cinematic look." opinion » Sometimes I Feel Like I’m The Only One Who Gives A Shit About Rich, Lustrous Hair by Marcus Russo , President and CEO, Pantene By Marcus Russo, President and CEO, Pantene Radio News » Authority Figures Call For Closing Of Area Rough House

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 This is a good time to make big moves at work, as you'll show up Monday to find all the furniture's gone and everyone has relocated to a new office somewhere outside Gary, IN. Most Popular » Exhaustive Investigation By Broadcasters Finds Every Player In NCAA Tournament Just A Great Kid After 1 Week In New York Tim Tebow Already A Gay, Homeless Crack Addict Zimmerman Appears Uninjured In Video What Aren't We Taking In The Move?  U.S. Military Desperate To Be Handed Just One Solid War It Can Knock Out Of The Park MLB Investigates Why Joba Chamberlain Is Allowed To Have A Son

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