| Dear Prudence This Old House In a live chat, Prudie offers advice about an elderly grandma who can no longer maintain her giant, run-down home—but refuses to move. By Emily Yoffe
Posted Monday, Jun 24, 2013, at 06:47 PM ET  Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is on Washingtonpost.com weekly to chat live with readers. An edited transcript of the chat is below. (Sign up here to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. Read Prudie's Slate columns here. Send questions to Prudence at prudence@slate.com.) Emily Yoffe: Good afternoon, everyone. I look forward to your questions. Q. Enabling the Elderly?: My grandma is in her early 80s and lives alone in a huge, dilapidated house that she grew up in. The home is not safe. It has very steep stairs, rickety railings—she has fallen and broken bones a few times in the past few years—there is mold, and she cannot keep it clean. Yet she refuses to move elsewhere. The family responds by traveling great distances, several times a week, to help her—these are people with jobs, special-needs kids, spouses who are terminally ill. In short, they are getting run down and exhausted, and it is a huge burden on multiple families. I also worry that she will more seriously injure herself or even die because of this house and her refusal to move. I can't think of another situation where family would go to such great lengths to help someone stay in a situation that is literally harming and is likely to kill her. Do you think this is enabling? Would it be cruel to tell her that some of the assistance/the visits/etc. won't happen unless she ... To continue reading, click here.
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