'Chapter 1: Clark,' Reports Awful Manuscript - March 20, 2013

Wed Mar 20, 2013 www.theonion.com

'What You're Doing Is Weird And Wrong,' Small Voice In Back Of Kim Jong-Un's Head Reports 03.19.13 PYONGYANG—While performing his duties as Supreme Leader of North Korea Tuesday, Kim Jong-un reportedly heard a small voice in the back of his mind telling him that his actions over the last six months have been very strange and wrong. Sources confir... Pfizer Kingpin Gunned Down In Ongoing Prescription Drug Cartel Turf War News in Brief » 'Chapter 1: Clark,' Reports Awful Manuscript Macaulay Culkin Hoping Some 'Funny Or Die' Writer Comes Up With Video Idea For Him FDA Relaxes Definition Of Smoothie American Voices » 10-Year Anniversary Of Iraq Invasion “Come on, another anniversary? Must we celebrate every little ground war we start?” GOP To Spend $10 Million Reaching Out To Minorities video » Authorities On Alert As Hundreds Of Crazed Sociopaths Enter Congressional Chambers Federal, state, and local law enforcement officials are reportedly on high alert today after a group of dangerous sociopaths entered the chambers of Congress, posing what sources are calling “an extreme risk” to the U.S. opinion » I Am Old And Confused And Paralyzed With Sexual Frustration by Pope Francis I By Pope Francis I Radio News » Dead Werewolf Was Apparently Allergic To Peanuts

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