The Onion Daily Dispatch - October 10, 2012

Wed Oct 10, 2012 www.theonion.com

Nation Did Not See Mark Wahlberg's Sex Change Coming 10.09.12 LOS ANGELES—Following the first public appearance of the actress formerly known as Mark Wahlberg at a Hollywood fundraiser last night, the American people acknowledged the Departed and Fighter star’s sex-reassignment surgery was ... News in Brief » Congress Repairs To Parlor To Hear Rep. Carolyn Maloney Play The Recorder American Voices » Danny DeVito, Rhea Perlman Separate “I bet it was that home-wrecker Angelina Jolie’s fault again.” opinion » Ask An Elderly Black Woman As Depicted By A Sophomore Creative Writing Major by Mrs. D’Lulah Jessups As Portrayed By Brian Kirby In His Short Story “The Sun Behind The Sky” Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Don’t worry your pretty little head about next week’s events. Instead, worry your pretty little arms, your pretty little legs, and that pretty little spine of yours about it. Most Popular » Romney Proudly Explains How He's Turned Campaign Around Ask An Elderly Black Woman As Depicted By A Sophomore Creative Writing Major U.S. Treasury Cowboy Claims Something Done Spooked Economy Nation Did Not See Mark Wahlberg's Sex Change Coming Danny DeVito, Rhea Perlman Separate Romney Frantically Figuring Out How Tax Plan Could Actually Work After Realizing He Might Win Election

If you do not want to receive anymore emails from us, please click the following link unsubscribe. To unsubscribe via postal mail please send your request to: 536 Broadway New York NY, 10012 Please include the email address at which you have been contacted. All of our emails are sent from the domain http://www.theonion.com.