The Onion Daily Dispatch - October 08, 2012

Mon Oct 08, 2012 www.theonion.com

Man Who Cried Himself To Sleep Last Night Has Some Great Ideas For Growing Company’s Brand 10.07.12 NEW YORK—Marketing strategist Garrett Brooks, who reportedly cried himself to sleep Sunday while thinking about how much of his life he’s wasted and how he continues to contribute nothing of any value to society, has some great ideas for growi... News in Brief » Turkish Actor Thinks He's Cüneyt Fucking Arkin American Voices » Record Number Of Gay Characters On TV “Wow, I’ve got to be honest: That’s far lower than the number I’ve been shouting in my church.” point/counterpoint » The Anemic Economic Recovery Is Due To The Failed Policies Of My Opponent vs. C'mon Man, The Debate's In A Couple Hours, We Can Do This Then by Barack Obama, Incumbent Candidate For President Of The United States Point/Counterpoint Radio News » Unicycling Bear's Agent Has Long List Of Demands

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You'll be punished for playing God this week, which isn't surprising, considering the Cockney accent, exaggerated limp, and thick head of curly blond hair you gave Him. Most Popular » Man Who Cried Himself To Sleep Last Night Has Some Great Ideas For Growing Company’s Brand The Week In Pictures Emoticon Typo Commits Area Woman To Second Date Mitt Romney Adopts New ‘Ronnie Ferocious’ Persona For Debates Area Man Going To Sit Quietly In Darkened Bedroom Until Roommate’s Party Ends Sasha Obama Asks Father Why He Was Acting Like Such A Pussy During Debate

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