The Onion Daily Dispatch - May 02, 2012

Wed May 02, 2012 www.theonion.com

Anxiety-Ridden Man Rightly Ashamed Of Every Single Thing He Does 05.02.12 OAKLAND, CA—Friends and colleagues of copywriter Timothy Gibula confirmed Wednesday that the anxiety-ridden 36-year-old is right to feel ashamed of every single thing he does, considering that all his acquaintances are, exactly as he fears, actively... News in Brief » New Visa Talking Credit Card Urges Buyers To Go For It American Voices » Occupy Calls For General Strike "It’s not a good day for me because I have three meetings, but tell you what, I'll wear my Guy Fawkes mask." opinion » As Long As My Child Does Something That Makes Him Happy And Wins The National Book Critics Circle Award For Fiction, I’ll Be Proud by Gregory MacIntyre By Gregory MacIntyre Radio News » Mosquito's Life Cut Short

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You will experience unbounded happiness and success in every area of your life this week, unless of course there is something fundamentally and irreversibly wrong with you. Most Popular »

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