The Onion Daily Dispatch - May 01, 2012

Tue May 01, 2012 www.theonion.com

NASA Announces Plans To Put Man On Bus To Cleveland 04.30.12 CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—Hailing the dawn of a new era in long-distance highway travel, NASA officials unveiled Monday the agency’s ambitious plans to put a man on a bus to Cleveland, OH by early 2013. The complex and dangerous three-day mission, du... News in Brief » New Visa Talking Credit Card Urges Buyers To Go For It American Voices » Tourist Ban In Dutch Pot Cafés Upheld "Wow, they must have a lot of faith in their tourism board’s ability to talk up soused herring." opinion » As Long As My Child Does Something That Makes Him Happy And Wins The National Book Critics Circle Award For Fiction, I’ll Be Proud by Gregory MacIntyre By Gregory MacIntyre Radio News » Mosquito's Life Cut Short

featured section: » Horoscope » Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You will experience unbounded happiness and success in every area of your life this week, unless of course there is something fundamentally and irreversibly wrong with you. Most Popular »

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