Dear Prudence: Compassion Without Passion

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Dear Prudence Compassion Without Passion My husband's brain injury ended our romance. Should I take a lover? By Emily Yoffe Posted Thursday, Jan 26, 2012, at 12:00 PM ET Get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week; click here to sign up. Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. (Questions may be edited.) Got a burning question for Prudie? She'll be online at Washingtonpost.com to chat with readers each Monday at 1 p.m. Submit your questions and comments here before or during the live discussion. Dear Prudence, I am in my early 50s, and almost a decade ago my husband suffered a traumatic brain hemorrhage, which left him with the mental capacity of a perpetual 11-year-old. I am the center of his universe, and not in a good way. I work part time, and when I go out he's afraid I'm leaving him. We haven't had a husband-and-wife relationship since his injury. We are more like mother and child. I miss kissing, touching, and sex. Counseling wasn't helpful; I was advised to get out more. My children are in their mid-20s, and if I left my husband he would become their problem, which isn't fair. Is it wrong for me to find a man for adult companionship and sex? I don't think I can do this for another 20-plus years. —Lonely Dear Lonely, I'm sorry you are in such a terrible situation. Finding yourself the caretaker for a brain-damaged spouse is one of the toughest things that can befall a married person. Please read this story from the Washington Post, written by my friend Susan ... To continue reading, click here. Join the Fray: our reader discussion forum What did you think of this article? POST A MESSAGE | READ MESSAGES Also In Slate What the Supreme Court Can Learn From Gabby Giffords and Jeff Flake's Tender Moment What's Wunderkind Blogger Ezra Klein Doing in the New Robert Harris Thriller? Guess Who's Winning Big as Iran's Economy Collapses Under Sanctions	Advertisement
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