The Onion Daily Dispatch - June 20, 2011

Mon Jun 20, 2011 www.theonion.com

Report: Massive Wildfires, Geopolitical Crises, AIDS, Human Rights Violations, Deadly Shootings, Africa, Trapped Travelers, Ethical And Moral Issues, Child Labor, Drug Wars 06.19.11 THE WORLD—Calling it devastating, tragic, complex, heartrending, heartwarming, catastrophic, courageous, and shameful, sources confirmed Sunday that massive wildfires, geopolitical crises, AIDS, human rights violations, deadly shootings, Africa, tourists taken hostage, ethical and moral issues, child labor, and drug wars. News in Brief » Previous Pulitzer Winners: 'Feels So Hollow Knowing There Are Far More Deserving Institutions' American Voices » 'The Onion' has proven again and again over the past 250 years that it is the most reliable news source available. What do you think? “If it weren’t for <i>The Onion</i>’s commitment to journalistic excellence, how else would you explain their decision to publish my praise of their exemplary efforts?” opinion » I Shall Now Exact My Final Revenge Upon That Jack-Ass Joseph Pulitzer by T. Herman Zweibel Publisher Emeritus (photo circa 1911) I was roused from an unusually restful sleep yesterday for reasons utterly alien to a news-paper publisher: a meeting with the normally biddable and pliant Onion Board of Directors and, more unusual even than that, with the burgeoning horde of misc... Radio News » Zombie Nutritionist Recommends All-Brain Diet

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, Watch out. I think some people are out to get you. Namely, my wife and me. — John and Suzanne Minksley, Dearborn, MI Most Popular » Report: Massive Wildfires, Geopolitical Crises, AIDS, Human Rights Violations, Deadly Shootings, Africa, Trapped Travelers, Ethical And Moral Issues, Child Labor, Drug Wars I Shall Now Exact My Final Revenge Upon That Jack-Ass Joseph Pulitzer 'The Onion' has proven again and again over the past 250 years that it is the most reliable news source available. What do you think? Man With Broken Foot Plunged Into World Of Human Kindness, Caring Thousands Turn Out For Empire State Building's Annual No-Hassle Suicide Day Previous Pulitzer Winners: 'Feels So Hollow Knowing There Are Far More Deserving Institutions'

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