The Onion Daily Dispatch - May 08, 2012

Tue May 08, 2012 www.theonion.com

Maya Angelou Thought She’d Be Invited To More White House Stuff 05.08.12 WINSTON-SALEM, NC—Saying that she didn’t want to be presumptuous but had thought her celebrated literary career, numerous academic honors, and tireless political activism would put her "pretty high up" on guests lists, Maya Ange... News in Brief » Justice Breyer Unable To Look At Anything Without Deliberating Constitutionality Of It American Voices » Greeks Reject Bailout-Supporting Politicians "Aw, it’s so cute that the European Central Bank is still letting them play democracy." opinion » As Long As My Child Does Something That Makes Him Happy And Wins The National Book Critics Circle Award For Fiction, I’ll Be Proud by Gregory MacIntyre By Gregory MacIntyre Radio News » FDA Approves Napalm Breast Implants

featured section: » Letters To The Editor » Dear The Onion, Hey, I need you to settle a debate for me: At what point do the effects of involuntary, emergency medication force one to consign their medical decisions to a loved one or guardian, or are all such considerations outweighed by an individual's penumbral constitutional right of privacy to reject medical treatment? Thanks. — Hon. J. Ernest Kaplan, Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals Most Popular »

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