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Friday, April 13, 2012

OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

April 13th, 2012Top Story

OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

By Dodai Stewart

OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.He finally "put a ring on it," as they say. A big ring, as far as we can tell. Jeweler Robert Procop, who designed the bauble, confirms that it is indeed an engagement ring, and not just a random present for the United Nations Goodwill ambassador and mother of six. Ms. Jolie was seen wearing the sparkling diamond at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art's Chinese Galleries on Wednesday. Do you hear that? That's the sound of gasps. And wedding bells.

As you may know, this engagement comes after years of speculation. Since meeting on the set of Mr. And Mrs. Smith in 2003, the couple have been subjected to an endless stream of rumors, but a wedding has thus far eluded us. But let's look back, shall we? Memories… light the corners of my mind…


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

September 14, 2005

Star magazine claims that Brad and Angelina will elope, even though Brad's divorce from Jennifer Aniston won't be final until October 2. Thus begins the villianization of Angelina.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

February 27, 2006

Jossip ('member them?) reports that Brad and Angie have set a wedding date, and it is June 27, 2006. There is a Tiffany registry and everything!


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

December 8, 2006

Ok! magazine claims that following the birth of Shiloh in Namibia, Brad and Angelina are planning a "fairytale Christmas wedding in South Africa."


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

Feburary 1, 2007

"Wedding Bells For Bad Pitt and Angelina Jolie"

Star is reporting that Angelina Jolie's mom's last dying wish was for her daughter to marry Brad Pitt.

Sniffle. Let's head down the aisle.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

May 12, 2007

Ok! is quite sure that Angelina is planning the "wedding of the year." Dress by Marchesa! Matching rings! Red velvet cake!


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

March 10, 2008

In Touch shouts, "Yes, They're Getting MARRIED."
We found a snippet of the article on an old message board. It read, in part:

Brad & Angelina: The truth about their wedding

After divorcing her second husband, Billy Bob Thornton, in 2003, Angelina Jolie insisted she'd never marry again, saying that she didn't need to be bound by "a piece of paper." But, after an eye-opening trip to Iraq in early February, Angelina, who's pregnant with twins, decided she should create a legal bond with Brad for the sake of their kids. When she called a close friend to spill the big news, it was a bit shocking. The friend joked that Angie was breaking her vow by taking a vow. But Brad is beyond happy about Angelina's change of heart.

This "doing it for the kids" business will persist.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

March 29, 2008

Star claims that Angie and Brad have just been wed in the French Quarter Wedding Chapel in New Orleans. The original headline, "Star Exclusive: They Did It! Brad & Angelina Tie The Knot!" is later changed to "Did They Or Didn't They?" The Huffington Post keeps a running timeline as folks try to figure out if the wedding actually happened or not.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

July 13, 2008

BABY BREAK! Twin golden-haired deities Vivienne and Knox are born.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

October 29, 2008

Ok! swears that Angelina and Brad are not married but are planning a very small ceremony, and another adoption. Again, the nuptials will happen because the kids "beg" for it.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

December 18, 2008

Oh, see, the reason Angelina and Brad haven't tied the knot yet is because they are squabbling over the prenup. So says Star.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

April 1, 2009

According to Ok!, Brad wants to get married before he and Angie have any more kids — whether through pregnancy or adoption. "He needs to know Angie is really committed to him," a source adds. "Becoming Mrs. Pitt would give him the answer." Four years and six kids are simply not enough.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

December 2009

Brad and Angie did not get married, but they did break up. A lot. Allegedly.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

January 24 2010

Despite not being married, Angelina and Brad hire a divorce lawyer. They are expected to announce a split within months. Some become distraught and disillusioned. Where is the love, guys? Sob.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

April 21 2010

"Wedding For The Kids!" They don't want to get married, but they have to! The tiny dictators demand it!


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

December 2010

Brad and Angelina plan to wed in a Hindu ceremony at an ashram in India. A guru has been enlisted.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

December 29, 2010

In Touch takes us "inside their secret wedding" by Photoshopping Brad and Angelina onto a lovely beach scene. According to the mag: "Weeks before Christmas, Angelina and Brad whisked their six children off to a tropical paradise and gave them a gift they would never forget: A wedding." A caption next to a picture of Pax and Maddox reads, "They wanted this for so long." Angie and Brad exchanged vows "in a romantic though not legally binding ceremony" at a resort; no priest was present. 


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

June 22, 2011

The mystical details of the "Secret Wedding In France" are revealed by In Touch: Brad and Angelina will be getting married in September, once the renovations on their chateau are done. They have chosen September 23 as the wedding date because that is the autumnal equinox. A source says: "They both feel that the equinox holds special meaning because it is the day that the Earth is most balanced - the night is as long as the day and the sun's center is on the same plane as the Earth." The mag adds: "Will getting married on the equinox ring in a new age of balance and calm for Brad and Angelina? One can only hope." Om.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

July 13 2011

Wednesday's issue of Us reports that three reputable sources claim Brad and Angelina plan to get married in September, at their Chateau in France. It will be "an intimate and informal affair." And since Us is considered more respectable than Ok!, Star and In Touch, the "news" was been picked up by The LA Times, The Washington Post, The International Herald Tribune, and The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

January 2012

The fall of 2011 was quiet, in terms of Brangelina wedding rumors. In the beginning of this year, though, Angelina was supposedly 98 lbs., pregnant, and headed to rehab. That would delay nuptials.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

February 15, 2012

Wedding Exclusive! Ok! reports that Angelina and Brad are planning a small ceremony at Chateau Mirval. And: "Brad and Angelina will be spending their honeymoon painting the nursery for the twin boys." She's pregnant with twins, y'all. Working on her own baseball team of kids. Moneyball!


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

February 29, 2012

In an ongoing campaign to demonize her and paint her as the awful other woman, In Touch asks us to believe that wedding planning is going on, but that Angelina has banned cake from the reception. Team Cake's monocles drop to the floor.


OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged.

March 14, 2012

Ok! swears that a wedding will finally happen, assuring us that Angie and Brad will get married "before the arrival of their twin boys," and declaring that "Angie has no qualms about being a pregnant bride."


Despite all of the rumors, an actual engagement ring is definitely news. And an actual ceremony appears to be on the horizon. Or is it? These two wily kids just might stay engaged for years, keeping us — and the tabloids — guessing.

[The Hollywood Reporter, Us]

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